This is a love story. Our “A love story”…
For most of our regular readers, you probably know the concept behind “OA” (Opposites Attract). But behind all of it, how it all started, each of us has our ‘Own Account’ of how everything else pretty much dictated how our connection came to be. Speaking of how ‘OA’ we are, there are contested versions between us as to the true chronicle… “Ordinary As- it- is” for a romance, it’s not ‘THE love story’ that usually elicits the “sweet awwws” like that of what’s expected from ‘romantic flicks’. Minus giggles and as cited, it’s just a love story – Our “A love story”
Sans the notions “why share when it’s indeed ordinary” and “we’re not famous celebrities so who’d bother” as an objective for this post, like any of Our Articles, we hope that it will similarly dish up a worthwhile message or two… We’re simply being “OA” and as a fitting commemoration for our years of “roller coaster” togetherness, the idea of imparting relatable tales is what’s rather reflected on.
Though married for just 7 years, we’ve been together for a total of 13 years. And here is to narrate my version of our story in 13 “OA” chapters. I hope you enjoy reading this as well as that of “A’s” version…
1 Older Ako (I’m older)
“Age doesn’t matter” so they say… It does actually…
I would like to believe that it all started when “A” (or should I say “a”) was about 10 years old…
(Whoa whoa whoa! Before some hypercritical thoughts linger, kindly read through it first…)
I was in a relationship with my college girlfriend back-when (so you could see how I’m olde way older than “A”). We were in “a’s” vicinity as we were friends with her uncle. As my then-girlfriend and I were minding our own business interacting with a few other adults along the driveway where “a” and her playmates happen to be similarly doing their thing, “a” confronted my then-GF and cynically asked her if I was her boyfriend… As my then-GF seemingly pleased to respond with “yes”, “a” (while by then insolently staring at me), retorted back with “pangit!” (ugly) referring to me.
My then-GF and I just laughed it off. Yet subconsciously I knew of such uncalled-for interjection to be some probable “hard line” means to get my attention (lol). That or she’s really just a meanie ever since… (Aba bwisit ‘tong batang ‘to a!)
At that point, that was just about it…
2 Onward After
As “a” became “A”, ‘A’ might as well stand for ‘Aged’ as she has grown but not necessarily matured… that first impression I had of her stuck for a while to say the very least. As any teenager growing up and as if to ascertain my perception of her, she was sort of a rebellious “pain in the ass” kid. It was only when we had the chance to talk about life in general and how it pertains to that of her own that made me realize she was just misinterpreted as much as misunderstood. So it seemed… Later on, I found out the complexity of her being… She really could be such a b__c_ d e f g… : )
3 One Afternoon
As if to decently uphold any unlikely serious relationship under the circumstance, I had the responsibility of fetching children (including “A”) to and from school as a business I’ve put-up. Almost every afternoon, along the way from one house to another, “A” sought advice for practically every aspect of her adolescence. As she somehow found solace in confiding to me, she entailed it upon herself for such moment to be a regular session; from insightful conversations to casually hitting it off, close ties were intensified. After which I found out that her boyfriend then was already feeling a little anxious of “A” falling for me which he intuitively felt as manifested by her partiality towards me. She assured him and denied such possibility… He demanded from her that she avoids getting too comfortable with me…
Not to stop herself from communicating with me, one afternoon, she handed me a letter as if convincing herself of the “conditional” improbability of a deeper correlation with “Dear KUYA Rommel”… with sizeable emphasis on “kuya”, it was too formal for the receptive content…
4 Outward Adjustment
Without even holding back and stubbornly ignoring her boyfriend’s demand, few other notes after sweet notes were personally handed-out when what was in it could have been verbally expressed instead… I’ve noticed however from one of the later-dated letters was a more telling message. Ironically, I thought she was being bold as she BARELY addressed me as the familiar big brother since “KUYA” became “kuya”… And such term of courtesy must have been too trivial and indeed common to rather be nearly omitted. Perhaps, she thought just my name artistically written in ALL CAPSLOCK will be more appropriate. I, on the other hand, thought I’d simply brush it aside.
5 Observable Actions
Stronger than the subtle manifestations were the obvious actions alluding to far more passionate feelings… Another afternoon, either she was just really grateful or wanted to be more upfront, she thanked me with an unexpected kiss. Like an assassin, she “sniped” a peck on my cheek. I acted cool about it but I was like “What the…?!”
6 Overtaking Advantage
Figuratively speaking and moderately timely as it would have been, afternoons seem to be our affinity-defining moments but in a way better than one night… Times spent with her were somehow mutually enlightening. I’ve realized that there was more IN her than what meets the eye. Her lean frame and daunting guise has been unreasonably misaligned with her sense of worth. Correspondingly, I subconsciously imposed it upon myself to be the worthy person she deems me to be. In spite of this, I was likewise holding back. Rather than take advantage, I drove-past such commitment signaling just directly ahead of me. Gradually closing my eyes to even a glimpse from that of what was reflected on the rear view mirror, I drove away…
7 Obstacles Anyone?
More than the age gap and the conservative society’s incriminating opinions, there were the likely familiar oppositionists. Yet before they were deemed as such, the forbearance was duly more out of respect in the same way intended for the subsequent factors that came with it. And more than the developing affection, there was also the love for the concerned people ahead of it all. The leading hindrance though was more of the fact that they didn’t see it our way and have unjustly criticized us even before we could probably explain or more so prove our true worth. All along we thought they knew us well enough…
8 Opportune Arrival
“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, you’re meant to be” seems to be a cliché quite fitting for us considering the spontaneity of the occurrence. After quite a time along some significant changes, our paths have crossed by chance. For what seemed to be an “On-the-verge kind of Affection” for a reason, I was glad to see her. What made it even more pleasant was that she reciprocated with much more gladness… We may have been inconspicuous with our reactions but we knew and felt that there was no need to be vocal about how much we missed each other.
There seemed to be no holding back then… Yet just how we are to go about it was somehow a test; though the question remained – How? Rather than once again forgo our (by then a more profound) feelings for each other, we decided to be bold enough for the next step…
It was a test alright as “A” tested if I were a good kisser. She still had that “Organic Assertiveness” clashing with her conservative nature. To rather get me to kiss her, she had me impulsively fall for the “Do you kiss better than my ex boyfriend?” challenge. It was intended to be a brief smooch as I thought I just needed a “fleeting proof” but I guess locking me tight had her wallow-in the answer and grasp it further. Some spur-of-the-moment indeed and before any formal instigation, it seemed to have already been sealed with a kiss.
9 Order of Acceptance/Obligatory Agreement
The locking of our lips gave the impression that we were likewise locked to each other… It was time to establish our groundwork if it meant maintaining a low profile relationship for it to rather be kept grounded. We were obliged to agree to a few considerations that we thought were essential factors to safeguard our supposedly-undisclosed affair. Thus that was what we have to accept first: Pretension. Then came ‘extent’: 1) Up to what extent will we pretend? 2) Will normally-inadmissible relationship-don’ts be part of the act? 3) Will denial be an option? And a few minor understandings…
The paramount arrangement however was that, were we prepared to be in a relationship with each other under the circumstances… keeping-up, maturity, physical/emotional needs and all those relationship fundamentals?
Our initial excitement of course got the better of us to simply concur; forget the complications even for awhile and just be in-love…
10 Outdoing Adversity/Originating Anton
Ups and downs were not limited to the “enjoyable” thing… As any normal relationship, we also had an ample share of discouraging experiences. And like any other normal couples, we’ve engaged in flimsy spectacles of breaking up for the nth time… But to rather account for just the most intense break-up relevant to how we have become, here are fragments of it: I met someone else. And as if to make it more dramatic, “A” and I broke up without knowing she was pregnant. We agreed not to reconcile just for the sake of the unborn child. It should be for love. We lost that (or at least we thought so)… Along the course of her pregnancy, we were often at each other and getting into each other’s nerve. The more it pushed us further away from each other… She even resorted to making me jealous by making-up “a new man in her life” fictitiously named “Anton”… “Sicko!” (lol) She didn’t have to do that… It somehow affected me; not that she was moving on but she was “deceptively” moving on while carrying our love child…
11 Offspring Appeared
The plan was for me to just welcome my child into the world… I had the privilege of taking footages of my first-born’s initial intake of fresh air; while I seemed to be gasping. I was merely recording stages when I suddenly forgot all about it and appeared to have been dumbstruck as soon as I got a glimpse of my daughter. Tears suddenly rolled down through my cheek, right there and then I knew my role as a father would be more than just a title.
12 Opportunity for Amendment
Living separately and far from each other, I asked “A” to send me pictures of our baby for all its worth. By pictures I meant of-different looks and expressions of our baby by herself… Though there were pictures sent as requested, there were also those with “A” in it as if trying to illustrate how they’re coping well in all their picture-perfect glory; and beamingly showing her flair as a single parent handling it all by herself.
Looking at the pictures almost every single day, the realization to be there for my daughter not just being a father but to provide moral balance founded on the idea of a complete family started to sink in.
After a lengthy and thoughtful conversation centered on letting go, my GF-then and I parted ways for the carrying out of a new role for me – family man. Having gone back to Baguio, I sought the blessing of my mother for the desired chance to bring my family together.
13 Ocho ng Abril (April 8)
After living-in together for some time and more so after further knowing each other under a more binding set-up, along countless struggles and squabbles, after several “A”-winless games of scrabble; before we perhaps expand as a family, within this lifelong commitment… “A” proposed… She popped the question… She asked that we get married… hmmm, how will I say this? I said YES! I finally conceded… ahh uhmm ??? Whoa! No wonder men are supposed to be the ones proposing… Well… “A” didn’t really proposed… It was like… it was just the most rational thing to do… In a way, it was the next step waiting to happen… It was just that she opened it up… I would like to think that she was the one who proposed (lol)…
Accordingly, 7 years ago today-minus-the-itch, we “tried the not” err I mean tied the knot. Why not? We’re nuts… nuts for and with each other!
*repost from our original blog… 4/2013